he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I want her autograph on my taint
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just had sex on a roof
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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