I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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