Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
