That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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