party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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