guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
