Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
