Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
