i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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