I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
