Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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