i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
