I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
