I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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