I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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