why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
