Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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