i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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