Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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