he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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