My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
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I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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