I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
