Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
