making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
