If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
