I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
