omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
