You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
