I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
