Can i not drive my cunt home
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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