I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
