I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
