careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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