Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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