the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
