Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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