I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
