Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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