ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
