There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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