I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
