worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
