The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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