he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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