Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
