yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
