Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
