dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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