Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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