Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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