I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
