Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
where does the pee come out of this thing
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Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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