Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize