community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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