I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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