shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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