I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.