Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
