your room smells of hookers.
And success
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
