I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
