..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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