so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
